It was graduation day when one of my best friends from university got married... in Switzerland. Following my footsteps she traveled abroad to be the au pair of a cute little boy near Zurich. She began to play soccer, got to play in a team, made friends with the girls - and soon after with the boys. They got to know each other, became friends... the rest is history.
On May 28 they got married. Many from her family and friends couldn't share their joy in the far away country, so it was her mother's idea to have a reception for the stayed at home guests. It was August 13, my first day spent at home. I - along with the other guests - was invited to supper into a neat restaurant. I felt like being the guest of honor. Though I was punctual (arrived couple minutes earlier than I was told) I was the one they were all waiting for. I got a big hug from both of them (dressed in her wedding dress and his suit wore on the big day), a glass of champagne, which I drank of their honor (my very first glass after almost two years of abstinence) and was led to the main table and had the honor sitting next to the bride, now wife. It was a very pleasant evening with many delicious food, games with her youngest sister and nice conversations with her family, mostly with her aunt. It was wonderful to share my beliefs with her and to explain why I just haven't married a "whatever" guy.
(If God's plan for me is to get married, I would like to marry a dashing young man, who 1. loves the Lord and is fully committed to Him. 2. I can study the Bible and pray with! 3. can bring out the best in me. 4. is diligent, takes the initiative, volunteers in church and has a life!) In a nutshell I shared my testimony (included the Gospel) with her aunt and though she seemed to understand me it felt discouraging when she expressed her regret, pity and compassion for me of not even having a boyfriend. I know God was there with me and I had all my confidence in Him.
But the night wasn't as easy as the evening at all. Satan's attacks were huge. He whispered his miserly little lies to me that God didn't love me, didn't care about me and He didn't want me to ever get married. If I would chose him, I could get married this year, could have children in the next... I thought of my roommie from last year and wanted to give a kick to the devil!
On the next day, when I told Mom about the party, she suggested to read a book - my friend Robbi told about. It's Courting Trouble by Deeanne Gist - an American Christian fiction author.
It's amazing how God can use even a book to encourage me:
* It doesn't matter if I ever get married, because I have the Son who laid down His life for me.
* It doesn't matter what He has in store for me, the only thing that matters that I belong to Him!
* No one, not even a husband can be more important for me than God Himself!
* He is the one my hope has to be in!
Even if I feel lonely I know that He would never leave me. He is the perfect groom, though I can't see Him, touch Him or hear Him with my physical body... I am blessed, because I haven't seen him and I believe! And His unfailing love surrounds me.
And as Chris Tomlin's words echo: His grace is enough for me because I'm covered in His love and nothing can keep us apart.