Thursday, March 31, 2011

Is it really that easy?

Yana asked me to meet some days ago and though she told me back then I wasn’t in trouble, she gave me a start when we met today. She is my work supervisor and I thought she’d be angry with me because in the past 6 week I did almost nothing. You all know why.
But she was very kind and we spent a wonderful time in a wonderful place (we were sitting on a blanket in the grass – in front of the castle, looking at the pond). I told her what happened on Monday and it was ok. 
She also asked me about my future plans. She knew about my possibilities for staying as an intern – though she didn’t know about all of them just like you.
I really can say it’s a privilege for me to be asked for so many jobs and by so many departments of Word of Life Hungary.

1. I was asked in November 2009 to work in the “Local Church Ministries”
2. Then I was asked in February 2010 to work in the “Camp team”
3. In the same month I was asked to be the next receptionist in the castle
4. Fall 2010 I was asked by the BI to stay as a translator.
5. In January 2011 I was asked to be the personal assistant of the leader of the maintenance.
6. In the same week – maybe on the very same day I also was asked to work in the “German Ministries”.     

First I thought I could be the next receptionist but it was in the past school year. I really didn’t want to become the translator for the BI. I think you can see why. I like the English language but just because I’m studying in English it doesn’t mean I could translate. And I’m not used to speak the language either. It’s more a passive language knowledge. I understand many things I can take notes in English, neither my grades have really eased down but that’s all.  
The last two jobs are both part time jobs so I could do them both. I though I’d made my decision but then our academic dean asked me again. Now he also told me what my responsibilities would be. The main translator would be our dean of students from now and I just had to translate the notebooks, tests & quizzes, the BI catalogue… and rarely if I’d be needed I had to translate in classes too. Way much better. 
But it’s only a secondary question if I wanted to work in German or in English. Though the German conditions are better. These bosses are the only ones who want me to become a staff member if we can work together and also I know if I really want to do this.  The others are all talking about a 1-year-long internship.  
The primary question is if I would like to stay at all. I can imagine myself to teach in a school and evangelize the kids and their parents, to have a house group / Bible study at home, or just to have a ministry in my new home church. (Of course I would like to live in a godly marriage and raise my kids in a godly way… but for now it’s only a dream.) But is it wrong to serve God in these ways? I’m open for becoming a full time missionary, but rather with my husband.
I know my parents wouldn’t be glad if I were living on other’s money but I know God would provide me everything I just need. And surely I would rather want to please God than my parents…
I was praying so hard for God’s showing me His will and plan for my future… And talking with Yana… I really believe God was speaking through her. I told her everything what’s on my heart and she told me they were really good opportunities. I was in God’s will. If I weren’t He’d show me by closing a door I wanted to enter, but it’s time to make a decision. Only when I’d already made it can God bless it.
While she was talking, an illustration came into my mind… (Notice, I’m a woman I can pay attention on more things at the same time!) you may know it.

A man was caught in a flood, sitting on the roof of his house, and praying and trusting the Lord. After a while, a rowing boat came by and its owner offered him a lift. The man said, “No thanks. I'm trusting in God”. Next a helicopter came and he gave the same reply. Eventually the man drowned. When he stood before the Lord, he said, “Lord, why didn't you save me? I trusted You.” The Lord said, “I sent you a boat. Then I sent you a helicopter. What more did you want?”

According to what Yana told me and to this illustration I believe that God offered me ideas what I could do next year… now it’s my turn to make a choice. I think I need time to consider and decide.

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9, ESV) 

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