Thursday, March 31, 2011

Is it really that easy?

Yana asked me to meet some days ago and though she told me back then I wasn’t in trouble, she gave me a start when we met today. She is my work supervisor and I thought she’d be angry with me because in the past 6 week I did almost nothing. You all know why.
But she was very kind and we spent a wonderful time in a wonderful place (we were sitting on a blanket in the grass – in front of the castle, looking at the pond). I told her what happened on Monday and it was ok. 
She also asked me about my future plans. She knew about my possibilities for staying as an intern – though she didn’t know about all of them just like you.
I really can say it’s a privilege for me to be asked for so many jobs and by so many departments of Word of Life Hungary.

1. I was asked in November 2009 to work in the “Local Church Ministries”
2. Then I was asked in February 2010 to work in the “Camp team”
3. In the same month I was asked to be the next receptionist in the castle
4. Fall 2010 I was asked by the BI to stay as a translator.
5. In January 2011 I was asked to be the personal assistant of the leader of the maintenance.
6. In the same week – maybe on the very same day I also was asked to work in the “German Ministries”.     

First I thought I could be the next receptionist but it was in the past school year. I really didn’t want to become the translator for the BI. I think you can see why. I like the English language but just because I’m studying in English it doesn’t mean I could translate. And I’m not used to speak the language either. It’s more a passive language knowledge. I understand many things I can take notes in English, neither my grades have really eased down but that’s all.  
The last two jobs are both part time jobs so I could do them both. I though I’d made my decision but then our academic dean asked me again. Now he also told me what my responsibilities would be. The main translator would be our dean of students from now and I just had to translate the notebooks, tests & quizzes, the BI catalogue… and rarely if I’d be needed I had to translate in classes too. Way much better. 
But it’s only a secondary question if I wanted to work in German or in English. Though the German conditions are better. These bosses are the only ones who want me to become a staff member if we can work together and also I know if I really want to do this.  The others are all talking about a 1-year-long internship.  
The primary question is if I would like to stay at all. I can imagine myself to teach in a school and evangelize the kids and their parents, to have a house group / Bible study at home, or just to have a ministry in my new home church. (Of course I would like to live in a godly marriage and raise my kids in a godly way… but for now it’s only a dream.) But is it wrong to serve God in these ways? I’m open for becoming a full time missionary, but rather with my husband.
I know my parents wouldn’t be glad if I were living on other’s money but I know God would provide me everything I just need. And surely I would rather want to please God than my parents…
I was praying so hard for God’s showing me His will and plan for my future… And talking with Yana… I really believe God was speaking through her. I told her everything what’s on my heart and she told me they were really good opportunities. I was in God’s will. If I weren’t He’d show me by closing a door I wanted to enter, but it’s time to make a decision. Only when I’d already made it can God bless it.
While she was talking, an illustration came into my mind… (Notice, I’m a woman I can pay attention on more things at the same time!) you may know it.

A man was caught in a flood, sitting on the roof of his house, and praying and trusting the Lord. After a while, a rowing boat came by and its owner offered him a lift. The man said, “No thanks. I'm trusting in God”. Next a helicopter came and he gave the same reply. Eventually the man drowned. When he stood before the Lord, he said, “Lord, why didn't you save me? I trusted You.” The Lord said, “I sent you a boat. Then I sent you a helicopter. What more did you want?”

According to what Yana told me and to this illustration I believe that God offered me ideas what I could do next year… now it’s my turn to make a choice. I think I need time to consider and decide.

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9, ESV) 


In the past two weeks (today was the last day) we had "Acts" with Frank Roe. He likes to watch short videos and he showed us one every day. According to what he said today, this is his favorite. So it is mine. It's not funny like the other ones, but very true. I also like the song & lyrics. Watch it / listen to it!

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Holy, Holy is He
Sing a new song to Him who sits on
Heaven's mercy seat

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You

Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be
to You the only wise King

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You

Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder
At the mention of your name
Jesus your name is power
Breath, and living water
Such a marvelous mystery

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come, yeah
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You

We also got a yellow card and we had to write our names and various other information about us... 
- where we are from
- when and where we were born
- who our parenst are
- if we have siblings (their names & ages)
- what our favorite pizza toping is
- hometown
- when we got saved
- favorite food
- if I would rather speak or sing
- favorite Bible verse
- spiritual gift
- favorite candy(bar)
- if we like hot or cold weather
- what instrument we are playing
- who we are praying for
- our favorite Bible book
We were interested why he wanted us to write so much about ourselves on this card and he told us about it only now, in the very last class hour. This is who I am, how God created me. It's only a reminder for knowing we're all different. But we are more.. we should never forget, that we are children of God, His ambassadors. We have a mission - to preach His Word, to share the Gospel, to make Him known on the Earth!
The last question was to think of persons who are dead, who surely are in hell because no one - including me, told them the Good News. I could list two women (family members) and I couldn't help I began to cry.     

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The way God meets my needs

Last year when we had the annual Missions Conference I was thinking and praying, thinking and praying about how much I should donate for the constructions of the Bible school on Jeju Island, South Korea. I had an amount on my mind but when I filled out the slice I doubled it in prayer. I knew I had to sacrifice my money - many things I wanted to buy or plans for trips with the girls to meet the final goal and I was faithful to my promise. 
But this year I didn’t even dare to dream about giving anything… I have so few money and all I promised was a much smaller amount… I also knew I could hardly pay for the half and I really asked God to eke it out and He did!
Today it wasn’t the first time I found money in my box and I’m thankful to God that He led people (I don’t know who, I don’t how many people) to place those little envelops into my box. God provided the missing amount for me to help me to give Him back all. 
It’s amazing to see how God works in one’s life – in mine! how He provides me things to enable for me being in the BI studying His Word! I feel I can’t be thankful enough for His works!

Now I don't only believe in His promise but I also experience the truth of Matthew 6:33: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Only Hope

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Though "Only Hope" is introduced here like a love song, and it kinda is, it really is about God! When I wrote my blog entry yesterday I remembered of it. I love this movie "A Walk To Remember" and how Mandy is singing this song! Enjoy! =)

"Love is always patient and kind; 
it is never jealous,
love is never boastful or conceited;
it is never rude or selfish;
it does not take offense,
and is not resentful."
(1 Corinthians 13:4-5 - unknown translation - at least for me)

An other great movie "The Notebook", the song is sung this time by the original band, Switchfoot. People again missed the point with the clip, but we know what it is about, don't we?!

Monday, March 28, 2011

When troubles come…

Life is not fair! It really isn’t! Oh, God, my God, my heavenly Father, please help me! You are my last hope! No, it’s wrong. I really shouldn’t have said that. You should be my Only Hope! But sometimes it isn’t easy at all to come to You. Not, that I’m disappointed.. though I am, but not in You! You always tell me not to quit and then everything gets even harder. I need to trust You more and more. Now there is a battle close at hand and I know You are here with me, You help me stand… I trust You, Lord, even if I can’t see You.

For those, who don’t know what exactly is going on, I share with you the short version. The point is that I was trying really hard to finish my thesis and I wrote about the third of the main part, which I also sent to my consultant. He didn’t answer for a while but then he kept asking me for more time. After 6 weeks (notice, it’s almost 2 months later – at last the calendar tells so) he wanted me to got to the university to meet him. So I had to ask the dean of students and the Bible school director and academic dean to let me go. I met him today and he told me about his wonderful ideas which were originally mine. When I went up to him two years ago with those ideas he told me not to use those topics in the thesis. He also told me that he didn’t advise me to turn in the thesis this spring because he won’t have time to read it and he would give me an F or maybe a D. And if it’s an F, I’m not even allowed to go to the state exam. But if I turn it in in the fall, I can get an A or B… That’s really discouraging and isn’t fair at all! I’d already left when the most important question came into my mind… I didn’t want to write more for the main part until I was sure it’s good. So I went back, knocked on his door and asked about the ten pages I attached him more than 6 weeks before. It’s totally fine, I just need to structuralize it… Yes, thank you… how on Earth could I finish my thesis now? I need those missing weeks! And even if I‘d finish… I couldn’t pass the first step… And I shouldn’t give up?

Saturday, March 26, 2011


I was googeling to discover if there are any news about my last blog entry.
Yesterday morning the man and his lawyer went to the police station to give up himself . He is arrested.

Thursday, March 24, 2011


Questions. More questions. One answer. God is sovereign. He gives but He also takes away. What could have been God's plan with this? They were unbelievers!
My Mom called me today to ask if I heard the news... In a town not far away from Budapest in a family house two women (mother and daughter) were killed. The daughter herself had a 3-months old little daughter.
The mother was widowed and very happy to have her first grandchild. The daughter was working in high position and she always wanted to have a family of her own! She got to know her boyfriend / partner about 1.5-2 years ago.
Yesterday this guy sent a note to the police stated he had left a little baby in that house. The police went out to the address and beside the baby (she's doing fine, though she had to be taken to the hospital because of dehydration) they found the bodies of her mother and grandmother.
Since the address was announced in the news my aunt tried to call her former colleague (one of her closest friends) to make sure those two women were not they! But nobody answered the phone. After a while the police called my aunt to ask her who she was and why she wanted to talk to these women.. She found out immediately that her friend and her daughter died.
Murder seems to be so far away.. it's so incomprehensible. You may think that rape and murder could never happen to you or to your loved ones... until it happens.
Please pray for that little girl and her family (though I don't know much about them the grandmother was widowed and her daughter was an only child), pray for the police that they can find and arrest the father of the baby and also for this man, that he regrets his sins and he may find peace and new life in Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Excursion with my clubbers

W/ Zsófi & Olivia
I know I didn’t write about my ministry this year. Yes, I have one but I didn’t think it was interesting enough that  I should have written about it. Basically I have ministry every Monday afternoon. 
I am the only student having Bible club, beside me there is one of my teachers (we’re going in his church) and an intern guy. They are teaching along with the pastor there. Zoli is responsible mostly for the music and I for the games during the clubs and I also try to disciple the girls. There are only three of them: the fifteen years old inseparable friends, Márta & Zsófia and a seventeen years old Olivia.
Yesterday afternoon was just awesome. Though we meet almost every Monday since September we don’t really have the opportunity just to go away and talk, but tonight we were more informal and we went to play ten-pin-bowling. 
It really helped a lot, that we were in the same team and we had a whole row in the van to talk. They really told me things, secrets in their lives they didn’t mention before.
It was a very blessed time with my girls.  

Christian Family in Esztergom

How I was looking forward having this course! I was waiting for this many years long since I wanted to come to Bible school (the end of 2005). I knew it’s a second year course and not even at the beginning of the last school year did I know that one day I could be part of a wonderful class trip called “Christian Family”. 
But the time had come… Last Tuesday we packed our bags and waited eagerly till 3 pm to leave to Esztergom. We arrived at about 5 pm and were almost late for the young adult meeting. André, one of my classmates was speaking about plans (involved God in them!) according to the book of James.
After having supper with the group I had the opportunity to talk with the pastor Marc Patton and I immediately told him that we already had known each other and we also have had a mutual friend. (When we had to write an essay on a spiritual leader in “Nehemiah” I did a little research about my person and I found out, that both men are members of BIMI (Baptist International Missions, Inc.). I was very interested whether they know each other and they do! :)
A bit later Laura and I were introduced to our host family – mother, son & younger daughter. We went “home” with them, but the son had the wonderful idea going sightseeing in the night. Three of us took to the road to see the city. We wanted to see the famous cathedral (Esztergom Basilica) lit up, but we had bad luck, it was as dark as the night. After standing next to the cathedral watching the lights of Slovakia, Gergő invited us for tea in his favorite tea house. Though he advised us to drink Jasmine tea I wanted to try something new and I ordered a Japanese rice tea. It was pretty unsavory. Imagine cooking rice and drink from that water… if you can, you know how my tea tasted. But we had a nice conversation with him and we stayed till closing hour. At home he showed us some pictures of persons (his family) he was talking about and we said good night.  
I personally had a terrible night! Laura didn’t have alarm clock and I was afraid mine wouldn’t turn on. In my dream (nightmare) I woke up after 8 am (our first class began at 8:30) and I tried to wake up Laura for a long time (ca. 20 minutes long) and I thought she never would wake up… That’s the only dream I can remember, although I woke up in every second hour and every time I knew what I was dreaming before. 
At 6:43 the alarm went on and I was k.o. After having our quiet time and prepared for the day we had breakfast – the mother baked “Barches” or “Challah” a Jewish twisted sweet bread for Sabbath and feasts – and Gergő took us back to the church for classes. In the morning we had 4 classes, after lunch Marc took us to the cathedral and we had several hours to see it and a part of the city while walking back. 
 In the afternoon we had two more classes – in the first we were divided, Marc taught the guys while we were   talking about the “steps toward marriage” with Marc’s wife, Charin.                                                             
After the second class hour we made a pizza party! Yummy! I ate so much – it was more than enough. Marc wanted to take all the girls home, but I protested… to no effect. I wanted to walk home since we knew the way and I don’t think it would have been more than ten minutes to get to the family, but Marc was adamant. He called Gergő and less than in two minutes he stood in the door. He wanted to take us into the city, Laura was unsure where to go.. and a roundabout came. I hate roundabouts. And he just was driving round and round till we decided where we wanted to go. On the verge of getting sick I said the final word… we went back home, because my batteries were in our room. I grabbed them and we agreed to go into the city when the mother had the idea to play cards. We didn’t want to be impolite and I also wanted to spend time with the family so we stayed. We were playing “Solo” and “Skip-Bo” about two hours long… then Laura went to bed and I stayed with the family talking. They are such a nice family! I really miss them! 
Us "kids"
Since I drank a coffee in the afternoon I couldn’t fall asleep. I was lying in my bed, listening to Laura’s snuffle and to the rain. It began to rain at 0:55 am. I don’t know when I finally could fall asleep but I woke up around 4 am… and I was waiting for the morning awake. Strange, but I wasn’t sleepy or tired at all.
With Laura I decided to pack our bags before breakfast because we didn’t know if we could have come back to the family during the day. I wanted to say good-bye to the family but they thought we would see each other in church in the evening. Also Gergő told that he would have come to church if he had arrived from work till 7 pm. So I was sure that the meeting would start at 7 pm. I was wrong.
After having 4 class hours and lunch we wanted to go sightseeing to Štúrovo, Slovakia, but the rain was pouring so hard that Marc invited us for an hour ten-pin-bowling. I haven’t play since 2006 or 2007 and I was really bad… though better than the others but Marc! :) 
I also came to know that Bible study was at 5:30 pm and I was pretty upset because I thought I wouldn’t see my host family again. But they came! Before the service I talked with the younger daughter, after it the Mother came to me. And I also was introduced to the older daughter and her sons, so the three women were talking, while Gergő was playing with his nephews. At once, Emilia from nothing appeared to tell me to go with her, because we had to leave… I didn’t even have time to say good bye to the family.
Short before 10 pm we arrived to Tóalmás.
I really enjoyed every moment of these 2 days, I made friends with some girls beside my host family… and I definitely want to go back to visit!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Crazyness on its peak

Since I get answers from my consultants so rarely I'm very afraid that I can't accomplish writing my thesis' on time. I'm often sick and really need those tranquilizers to help me to fall asleep.
I knew I had time for applying for my qualifying examination in teaching till the end of next week, and I often tried to register online but the website was never updated / opened till this week. So I tried to apply yesterday evening during the second study hour. But I read - if I don't go to the exam, whether I'm sick, haven't finished my thesis' or I couldn't pass the state-exam in my major, I need to pay 12,000 Ft (ca. $60). But huh, I don't have that much money... Conclusion: I don't sit on the splice and I don't apply.
Just to assure myself I went to the website of the faculty of philosophy and checked the data. Everything seemed to be alright but I wrote an email also to my student affairs clerk to ask her if the information I've found online are the same in real life...
At the end of the study hours I was so stressed out that I couldn't concentrate in devo (~ prayer group on Thursdays) at all... none the less I was leading the group.
The clerk called me today to tell the check-in time for the state-exam was up in the middle of February... BUT if I bring the filled out paper today or latest next week, they will accept it. I barely have money, but now I had to come home... of course the university was closed when I arrived... but I won a weekend at home (I was so ready for it). Now I have to go back on Monday... Thanks God second year doesn't have classes but chapel on Monday and I can go back for the test. If I can make it before ministry??  

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Before you would ask, IWD stands for International Women's Day - exactly what we have today. I don't really know what it is and why we "celebrate" it, but somehow for me it means only an occasion when men can express their love for women in a way somewhat similar to a mixture of Mother's Day and Valentine's Day.
Months ago, when we had "Genesis" in December, one of my classmates (he isn't really my classmate 'cause he's "only" a first year student) asked me during class if we in Hungary celebrate this day. I almost forgot this story but as the day approached I was wondering if Ivan would do something for today. And he did!
2 Chronicles 16:9
Yesterday evening he came to the girls' dorms, asked the R.A.-s to come out and gave them flowers and chocolates to give us girls as a gift for IWD! I think it was very nice of him, especially if I consider, that he was the only guy giving us something... Other guys wished me a happy women's day too, I also got several text and facebook messages, but that's all.
Thank you again, for your kindness! :)

Monday, March 7, 2011

In Love w/ J.A.

A busy weekend with nice nights and girlish movies. During the days I was studying hard - I had to write a paper about witnessing to a Jew in "World Religions" and also prepare for the tests in Ezekiel and World Religions and ministry on Monday.
K. Knightley & Matthew Macfadyen 
But in the evenings.. I watched movies.
With Becky, Laura and Rebecca I watched the new "Pride and Prejudice"... I think it was good that I know the story and that Lydia and Wickham didn't get a big role because I dislike both of them, but I also missed many parts. My advice is (if you have time) to watch the longer one with the real Mr. Darcy - Colin Firth.

Then with Monca (and one of them both with Monca & Becky) I watched "Becoming Jane". It was just absolutely awesome! :)
I didn't know much about Jane Austen's life before watching this movie and I was of course sad that her and Thomas LeFroy's love couldn't be fulfilled.
I was told, those women write about love, marriage and happiness, who never lived it through. They live in a kind of dreamworld and fall in love with their fictive characters... they just write about a life they would like to live. But I think it's not the case for Miss Austen. She was inspired by her own experiences. She was in love and was loved in return. Though Mr. Darcy (I think his name is Fitzwilliam, what an uncool name) is the fictive adequacy of Thomas LeFroy, Austen and LeFroy didn't play the role of Elizabeth and Darcy, but in their life there was sense and sensibility where the sense won the battle of love.

James McAvoy with Anne Hathaway in Becoming Jane

In Sunday evening we could choose between "Mansfield Park" and "Emma". Though I'm not a Gwyneth Paltrow fan, I really wanted to give her a chance, but then I read the cover of the dvds and the guideline to MP reminded me on Anne of Green Gables. Not on Anne, but on a scene in The Sequel, where Katherine Brooke tells her story to Anne. She was raised up away from home at her uncle's I think and she was always made felt that she's not on their social level.

"I know I'm not social and people hate me. Do you think it doesn't hurt that I'm always neglected and overlooked at social functions? I'm sorry. I've never been able to swallow all the snubs and pokes I've received here in my life. I remember every single one. For fifteen years, I had to endure relatives who cared as little for me as my dead parents. I've lived in third-rate boarding houses that froze in winter and stank in summer. I've worn their cast-off clothes. Fortunately, I had brains. I made it through college and I paid them back every cent. Oh, yes, I'm independent now. The truth is I hate teaching. But, there's nothing else that I can do."  

Frances O'Connor & Jonny Lee Miller in MP
Becky saw Emma several times, but the cue was said by Monca. And we watched the Mansfield Park.
Fanny Price didn't have a nice childhood either, though it was nicer than Katherine's. I was glad that she and Edmund made friends. Actually I was thinking about their relationship, if they were truly cousins and if yes it could have been possible for them to get married. All is well that ends well, they did. *sighs* :))

I think, I'm tuned to Jane Austen's novels. If I ever graduate from university I will read all of her books. We have a collection of them at home. Mom began recently to reread her novels and we also bought her the missing volumes. I have the chance, now I need the time.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Email from Meno

I got a mail from our Israeli guest pastor who taught us Isaiah.
If you would like to pray for Him and his ministry, I can list his prayer requests:
- that they will always stay focused on the Lord in all they are doing
- that they will keep the purity of the Gospel in their church
- that the new generation in their church will follow the Lord

Thanks for praying for him!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Let's cook together!

We had a cooking fellowship today! Yay!! :) The wife of our academic dean came up with the idea to cook with students together. We had to re-schedule it several times, because on one Friday we had classes on the other Tabitha and Andy went to the Czech, but today was the day when we were fellowshipping.
When I arrived the others were all there, but I just had to be late. I don't mean I had to, but I was writing a test in the morning - I made up Zechariah, the last but one missing from the fall quater. It definitely was hard.
So when I came to the Maters' they had been already cooking. I also got a task - the salad.

After we got ready we set the table, prayed and ate.
Oh, I almost forgot, the menu was the following:
- White Garlic Alfredo Sauce with noodles
- Bacon Drop Biscuits
- Broccoli Salad
- Mixed Berry Cobbler
- and Raspberry Smoothies.


We also enjoyed the afternoon. After washing the dishes - thanks Richie! :) I think we all wanted to take a nap, just like Eden. Oh my gosh, she was so cute. She came to everyone to say "Good night" and she hugged and kissed all of us! But after a while we went to the living room to play games... actually we agreeded in one: WII! :)) I think Hungarians know it if they know the Maters! :) We were playing kart, bowling, tennis, golf... it was really a fun day with many many delicious food!