Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Gospel according to Matthew or recognizing idol worship in my life

In these two weeks we are studying Matthew with a wonderful teacher former tuna fisherman. He is sincere and sensitive. He’s such a man who’s not afraid to show his feelings. When he talks about something – about Jesus or his own family – and he get touched… he’s not ashamed of crying in front of us.

I don’t know which day it was when we were talking about the Sermon on the Mount especially about chapter 7.
I wouldn't tell that I was bored during class. I guess I was tired… tired of being in a Bible school and not hearing God’s voice at all. Sometimes I’m questioning myself if it was really God’s will or mine that I came here to study? 
Anyway on this day I was doing nothing. Desperately I was sitting in my chair, taking notes – more or less – waiting on the end of that day, thinking about my life. And then suddenly I heard a soul-stirring sentence. Mr. Silva read it, but I heard God’s voice behind his.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Mt 7:13-14)

What? Broad? Road? Broadway? I had to check it. Since when is the Bible speaking about theater?
I looked around with my eyes seeking after an English Bible. Mishaela lent me hers and I could see and read it for myself.
“…For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
“…For wide is the gate and broad is the road…”
“…broad is the road…”

This whole school thing isn’t like I thought it was. I had high expectations and when the school didn’t meet them I became reserved. I dreamt about the life I had outstripped, the wonderful season I spent in a theater, the atmosphere of the performances, the talks and hugs with my new friends – on the stage and behind the curtain. And I missed him… the man I don’t know if I was fond of or in love with.  

What was going on in this hour in class? I don’t know. I couldn’t pay attention. After 7 months I realized that I left my heart on the Pest Broadway and I needed to have it back. I had to give it back to the Lord. I absorbed my tears and was praying to God. I thanked Him that He gave me life and a new chance I didn’t deserve. My life has changed. Forever.